004. Apoptosis

Monday, January 2nd, 2012 01:09 am
ohmyfurandwhiskers: (Default)
So! I managed to finish reading 60 books in 2011. I'm disappointed that it wasn't more, such as the original 150, but I knew by the time I decided to go back to school for fall semester, I would have to settle for just 60. Books Read in 2011

I was much closer when it came to watching 300 DVDs (either movies or the discs of TV show episodes)... I made it to 209! DVDs Watched in 2011 - A little bit out of order as I forgot about the list until December. Oops! I'll consider going back and adding the dates from Netflix instant, at least.

GOALS FOR 2012! Books to Read? 150! DVDs to Watch? 250!

Now, for the bad news... I got fired from Coffee Cartel on Thursday, the 29th, by the owner. I wasn't given an exact reason, rather it seemed a bit cumulative and muchly do to my high level of stress. As much as I loved working there, the people who I worked with, and the regulars who made my day when they came in, I can't stay angry. I am, however, very depressed right now. I'm trying to put my life into perspective and be grateful for all that I do have, but it's extremely difficult when I just lost my job, the one thing that had defined me since April 2010. I feel like a part of me was murdered, and I'm ashamed to admit that I totally begged him to reconsider, even though I knew he wouldn't. I cried for five hours straight and woke up the next day with hideous bags under my eyes. Grieving... I keep thinking I've gone through Kubler-Ross's five stages... Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Then, I start haphazardly cycling back through them all. It's super fun as you can probably guess.

At least now I can make out with Pepé as Emma so tactfully put it. Heh. Yeah... *goofy grin*

I've still been going to Cartel every single day and I still consider Frogger (the general manager) to be my bestest friend in the whole wide world. As far as I can tell, everyone still likes me. Even people who I didn't think did, have told me that we're still friends and have expressed sympathy. My regulars who I have spoken to about it, because I care about them and don't want them to just disappear from my life, have also apologized and given me hugs. *goofier grin*

It doesn't prevent me from being depressed, though. I've already applied for unemployment and submitted ten online job applications. I'm waiting until Tuesday to go job hunting on foot because I don't want to be the annoying insect of a person waltzing in on the Monday after two major holidays. Yeah, no thanks. That's like the equivalent of calling to ask if we're hiring in the middle of a lunch rush. I have one last paycheck coming to me and approximately $90 to my name as of right now. I'm going to pay my rent ($365) on the 6th, when I get my last check. Hopefully, I get unemployment with no issues and it's enough to pay the minimum $210+ in my other bills. I dropped out of the only class I was going to take this semester and I'm going to go get my $66 refund from cashier's office. And, I have other bills that I'm really scared about and none of this includes food for myself or my kit-kats. Yay.

At least I have Frogger, Llama, Pepé, Emma, Mama Nerd, and everyone else in my life who has been supportive of me. Without them, I'm pretty sure I would've just killed myself. Seems melodramatic, but considering how difficult it is to find a job in St. Louis, especially when you don't have a driver's license or a college degree yet, I really think it's a good back-up plan.

I'm so fucked.

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D. Troy

July 2012

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