ohmyfurandwhiskers: (s'cute!)
So, I very recently (as in in the past couple of hours) tapped a few DW users on the shoulder and got all obnoxiously close and asked, mouth-breathing and all, "HeydoyouwanttobemyfriendbecauseIthinkyou'resooocool!" *big creepy dork grin* And, the point is that they're awesome and now I feel extra ridiculous and kinda nervous.
ohmyfurandwhiskers: (secret moose!)
Quinn is in heat and driving me insane. She keeps jumping on my shoulders and then stabbing me with every single one of her crazily sharp claws. I received a check in the mail from Autumn (my mother) so I have chosen to use it to finally get her fixed and get her shots and whatnot. I'm still scared about doing it but I can not go through this again. I will rip my own ears off!

I totally ate way too much mapo tofu, which I got after Therapy Session #1 for comfort food. I wasn't expecting the container it came in to be the size of my head! To overwhelm the spiciness a bit, I dumped the steamed rice in it, which made it taste a lot better. I find it strange that West End Wok, my favorite place to get Chinese food, doesn't have chow mein on the menu. Strangity. <--- Not a word, but should be...

I am currently reading seven books, which almost makes sense because I'm nine books behind on my goal of reading 150 this year. I should probably work on my inability to focus on any one book at a time. OR I could start a new book and pretend that I don't have a problem.

Currently Reading!...

#1.] 'Too Scared to Cry' by Lenore Terr, M.D.
#2.] 'Treating the Brain' by Dr. Walter G. Bradley
#3.] 'Help Yourself' by Dave Pelzer
#4.] 'What You Really Really Want' by Jaclyn Friedman
#5.] 'The World Without Us' by Alan Weisman
#6.] 'Of Human Bondage' by W. Somerset Maugham (re-reading)
#7.] 'The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana' by Umberto Eco

Maybe I shouldn't be so avoidant. Hm... *ponders* Well, it will be dealt with a bit starting 2/20 and through Black March because I'm not renewing my Netflix subscription. Aha! Take that, distraction!

In the meantime, ONWARD WITH THIS NUMB3RS MARATHON!
ohmyfurandwhiskers: (quiet streets of venice)
Today I had a MRI scan! I spent an hour and a half working through paper and computer tests, which made me suspicious that my IQ was secretly being tested. After that was finished, one of the girls working on the study led me through the halls to the room where they keep the scanner and we met up with the lovely woman who did my assessment at UMSL. Once in the viewing room, which had the MRI Guy who helped me get through the tests, Lovely Woman, Other Girl, and Random Guy, I had to take off my glasses and was fitted with goggles that had pop-in lenses to match up with my prescription because there would be computer tests during the scans.

While I was being set up for the scan, I had to put in earbuds (because the MRI machine makes REALLY LOUD beeping and bangs most of the time you're in), so I felt like I was back in shop class. And then, I had to lay down on a cushioned board with my head in a plastic case, put headphones w/ mic on over the earbuds and goggles and that was all topped off with a plastic cage over my face so then I felt like Hannibal Lecter. After that, the machine lifted me up and slid me into the machine, which was like a perfect fit. It made me wonder if there are differently sized MRI machines for people who are taller and/or weigh more. Another random thought: How did what looks like splashes of coffee get on the inside of the MRI machine?! Strange.

At first it was okay but then the machine started making this horrible beeping for like 8-10 minutes and I thought it was an alarm or something. Freaked me the fuck out. Loud, random beeping, shaking, vibrating, banging, and whatnot, for two hours. I had to stare at a plus sign on a screen for four tests and almost fell asleep throughout all of them. And, then, another test which is boring to explain but made me feel stupid because the pictures I had to say were similar or dissimilar flashed so quickly. My eyes started playing tricks on me. Oy...

Afterward, I walked super fast to get to Golden Grocer before they closed so I could buy more coconut/almond milk ($1 off combined due to them being new products), tofu (got ten cents off the sale price because I dropped it and still bought it even thought it leaked all over me, heh) and falafel chips (pretty much 2 for the price of 1 since they're "expired"). And then I went to Coffee Cartel for four shots over ice. And sung this to it in my head on my way to my apartment...

(I rewrote parts of NIN song about loving coffee and hating people who were driving/almost ran me over...)

i want to drink you like an animal
i want to feel you on the inside
i want to drink you like i'm an alkie
my whole existence is tired
you get me closer to NOTWANTINGTOSCREAMATPEOPLEWHOAREDRIVINGWITHTHEIRPENISES

help me
tear down my fatigue
help me
it's your crema i smell
help me
you make me perfect
help me
think of how nice it would be to beat these idiots over the head with their champagne bottles and then EATTHEIRROSES!!!

So that was my day!

Oh, for VDay, I bought Pepé a rose and took it to him at Cartel last night. There was also sexytimes. And I don't think he'll have a problem with me putting his picture up here so... Le picture of Monsieur Pepé )
ohmyfurandwhiskers: (painted flowers)
I am an incredibly fortunate person. I may not have a job, which really, really sucks, but I at least have the money to eat healthily and buy coffee. I have super wonderful friends, especially one who goes by the name of Pepé (he's pretty awesome). If I were prettier, better at playing WoW, and more likely hyperventilate, I might feel closer to Codex than I am.

And the really awesome thing about eating the way I have been since the end of December is that I am learning a lot about moderation and, obviously, nutrition. I have more energy, less headaches, and I've lost weight! Yay!

I went to Straub's to buy some more tortillas and tomatoes when I ran into the guy who works in the prepared food section who I talk to whenever I'm there. I decided to get some cucumber/tomato salad because it's cheap and whatnot. And he asked me how I get protein in my diet since I don't eat meat and gave the whole "If god didn't want us to eat meat, he wouldn't make it taste like... meat" and I really wanted to just quirk a brow and back away slowly. First of all, that didn't make any sense at all. Secondly, it also assumes that I believe in some god that would disapprove of my eating habits. And, thirdly, you work in the prepared section of a grocery store! Why are you questioning my eating habits? I'm not super sensitive about it, but it just seems absurd that anyone who works in a grocery store would ask that question (which I wouldn't've minded answering) and then follow it with that statement. I just said I eat a lot of tofu and he made a face. Meh. I WILL EAT SO MUCH TOFU AND ENJOY IT MORE THAN YOU SHALL EVER ENJOY YOUR ANIMAL FLESH! *breathes* That's right, Straub's man. I said it. Now back off, mister.

I have been watching a lot of Family Guy in the past two days. OMG. I feel like it's rewiring my brain. Stewie is the best cartoon character in the world.

009. Punish

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 08:39 pm
ohmyfurandwhiskers: (remember love)
I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately, which I can't decide is a bad thing or not considering it forces me to think about how shitty our world is. I've watched three on religion, one on dumpster diving, and the one I'm watching right now is about Wal-Mart's horrible business practices. When I can't stop thinking and I start getting really, really depressed and need to escape those thoughts, I put Scrubs on. I don't know what I would do without Netflix to distract me.

Or, without Pepé. This morning, I came up with a plan if I can't find a job and the only thing that kept me from following through with it right then was reminding myself that he cares about me. He puts headphones on when he plays Call of Duty because he knows I hate the sound of gunfire (I have trouble enough watching shows like Law & Order) and put them on when I was still sleeping and he wanted to listen to music. He never pushes me and apologizes when I tell him if I feel pressured by something. He's incredibly patient and generous... buying me coffee and a muffin already. He cares. And... we're exclusive. Heh. Like teenagers, I swear. When we were talking about it, I said 'So, we're going steady' and we laughed and he said 'If that's what you want to call it. Yeah.' Ridiculous. I love it.

I need to start working on my resume again soon. I just need to distract myself right now. I mean, I seriously considered suicide this morning. I think my brain needs a break from stress right now.

I'm trying not to panic, knowing that I don't have enough money to pay my rent right now. It's really difficult to function. I caved and got squishy this morning to prevent myself from hurting myself. I don't know how I'm going to get through this sober.

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D. Troy

July 2012

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